I lost my mom to cancer. And as rough as our relationship was, I am still mourning her all the time. I miss her. My mom collected many things because as soon as my dad found out she liked something...she got lots of it :) It's quite endearing. So she began collecting Swarovski crystal figures many years ago. And she loved them and doted on them and her eyes always lit up when she'd look at them and get a new one. After she died, Dad would send us a piece of her collection for Christmas because he knew we'd take care of them. They are all distributed now and so I no longer get any pieces. Every time I walk by one of the stores, I want to go in and I try to be brave and walk through....but inevitably I cry each time. Its one of the strongest memories I have of her.
This past christmas my best friend gave me a very special gift. One I didn't see coming at all. I opened the box and it was a small snowflake Swarovski crystal ornament. I cried so hard. It's easily one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone has ever given me. It was like looking at a piece of her that was a HAPPY memory because she was so unhappy all the time and made a lot of us around her pretty miserable at times. But these always seemed to make her a bit more happy. Especially at Christmas when she normally got the pieces. She had all sorts of animals and such. So to have a piece of this for my very own and that also reminds me of the time of year she was MOST happy and more pleasant to be around. Christmas. Ever since she died....christmas is very hard for me. I am melancholy and I long for her. I long to smell the cookies baking in the oven and the atmosphere of the house that she lavishly decorated and took so much pride in. I long to wrap myself up in her arms because she was one of the most soft people to hug. Even when I was angry at her. I found comfort there. It's what I miss most.
So the assignment was to draw something that tells a story, but after trying to draw so many other things..I think I had 4 or 5 other prospects but ended up only having 2 to chose from. I kept coming back to this because I thought it was a story that needed to be told. I talk a lot about how mom could make my life a hell, but I felt the need to show what I loved best about her. I chose to draw something that didn't tell a story but had a very important story.
The basic composition of the piece: (Done with Vine Charcoal and coloured pencils)
Mind you this story makes this a rather abstract piece..so try to stay with me here.
Each arm of the snowflake is made up of 2 colours. Purple and blue. I used very soft versions of these colours because I wanted this piece to have a very soft feel in contrast to the outline. I felt it was very important. So the top arm has purple on the left and blue on the right. the next one going clockwise has blue on the left, purple on the right. And it alternates all the way around.
Inside the big star there are two colours again...only the center being very important. you can see the purple in each of the corners and then the much brighter blue in the center. Blue is the colour I associate with my mom. Was her favourite colour. So I chose to make her the heart of the piece because I think deep down, no matter what, your mom is always the heart of you in a very real way. Then there is a line on either side of the star. From the center to the top is Purple that symbolizes me because I'm still here and still alive. And below the line is the blue for my mother. Who is no longer here and in effect buried below.
This first one is the FIRST draft of it in vine charcoal only:
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